As a psychic, many of my readings deal with painful break ups. These are not my personal favorites. It seems like about 50 % of the break ups are not repairable. Some situations are hopeful and old flames do return and the couple will be stronger for this separation.
The harder question might be why is that? That seems to be shrouded in great mystery. It is difficult to tell a client that it really is over and they should move on. In fact I have learned not to be gentle when saying Move On! You are wasting tears and time by hanging on like this.
The reason I cannot tip toe around is this: The client will not understand or hear it. I had a very pretty lady come to me 5 times with the same question, will he return to me? This couple had a roller coaster romance and had broken up and rejoined many times. It was very hard to hear that this guy would not drop back into her life. She was so fragile and I was being kind and trying to say get out there and find yourself again. Finally she realized from a phone call that it really was over. He had found someone new and they were moving in together after a year. She asked him; "what is different about her from me?" The answer was emotional stability. My client had a problem with binge drinking and a difficult childhood. The new girl friend was not physically prettier but overall emotionally more stable. In fact I saw photographs and they could be sisters. They looked remarkably alike. The new girlfriend was a happy stress-free person and loved her job. My client finally got it. She was pretty upset and called to say, "why didn't you tell me?" I said, "I did tell you!" I kept saying go on with you life. She was so attached to the hope that he would come back that she could not hear my subtle messages. I learned that you cannot be nice in this way. It is hard to hear and it is unwelcome news and it makes me sad to be that sort of messenger. Often times the person hearing it will not pay me. Very few psychics are willing to take that chance and they will not ever tell the truth on this. That makes it really hard for me as well. Many of these clients have called dozens of psychics. They will say, all the other psychics say he is coming back. The majority of my clients are women. It could be a guy and I have a men who have gone through tough breaks ups. One guys was hopelessly in love with a married women. I felt that she was not being entirely honest with him. Honesty is very important when it comes to the human heart. It is just inherent that we do not manipulate the emotions of others to serve our own agenda. I see that quite often.
The fact that other psychics are not willing to bare disheartening news, makes it that much worse for me. As my one client put it, "I can't believe all those lying psychics out there." She put me in that same boat too (ouch). We all got lumped together because I don't think she could remember who said what and when. Integrity is so important and being a psychic is not a cake walk and it won't make you rich (usually) Sylvia Brown being an exception.
So, what makes me sure that something will or will not work out? I either get a really warm wonderful feeling when they tell me the name of this love interest or not. If they say his name and my stomach turns into a knot, I know it is over. It is that simple. I read tarot cards and usually they say the same thing as my stomach. I sense energy and I pick up that radio station that tells me what is going to happen. I don't totally understand it myself, but I trust it. It has been unfailing. People return after many months or even a year later and validate what I said. Those relationship readings are probably my strong suit, but I wish it was career or travel plans. I don't like the emotional fall out of having to tell the truth. In the long one the client is much happier. I want to say "your loss is your gain". It is always true. Life will bring you what you really desire when you let go of something taking up room in your head and your life that is no longer good for you.
Sometimes the female is the one who is getting ready to leave and she might not even know it yet. Several times I have done a reading for a married woman only to see a side romance going on. There is no judgment as to right or wrong because each situation is unique. Sometimes I see a decision needs to be made if it continues. That is hard when kids are involved. One mother of three had an extra marital affair going on for 5 years with a neighbor. Both couples would recreate together. I asked her if her husband knew about this? She said no, I asked how he would feel if he knew? She was not sure. I also saw her husband as a really devout husband and a good father. In my mind I saw one of her children seeing this other relationship going on. They suspected it and in time it would be found out. It would affect the whole family at that point. Always there is a point to really take a second look at our actions and make choices. Relationships are going to ask for personal growth every time.
Many years ago a lady came to me stating that her husband just vanished for several months. She wondered if he was alright and filed a missing person report. They had a child together and she felt that he would at least contact the child. I felt like he was alive and with someone in a romantic way in California. I saw a very attractive brunette with him. My client was a beautiful blond and slender enough to be a fashion model. All of a sudden she knew who I was talking about. It was like lightening hit her and it all made sense. She told me that other psychics said he would return and they would be a family again. I said no, he will not return and if he does show up, it will be to collect some of his belongings. She was furious and left in a huff. I heard from her a few months later and she was in the middle of a very ugly divorce.
There is nothing harder to hear than "its over" or if you are smart it should be over. It is almost impossible to believe and it is hard to let go of the hope that this person they love will be back. It seems like there would have been some warning signs along the way.
I think there probably were. The way some of these women reacted to me during the unfolding of the truth was not good. That told me that the guy would not want to go there and open up and be totally honest. The anger, rage, denial, and outburst, were almost too much for me. I can understand why the man would want to sneak away without much discussion. Sometimes break ups trigger the worst in people. They bring a cascade of hurtful emotions like: Childhood abandonments, lack of self-worth, and feelings of betrayal and many other emotional torments. It is not just the current rejection it might be lots of unfinished business.
That is why it is vital to really deal with all these issues before another relationship is formed. Unfortunately, some of these same clients were back asking about new boyfriends. I would say, oh my, you have not really found your land legs yet and where did you leave yourself behind? Replacing a lover seldom takes the sting out of the leaving. Only time takes it away. It can be time well spent or time wasted. I suggest that people go back to school, get involved in a project or hobby they are passionate about, or look up old friends and go on a road trip visiting them all. Embark on an adventure. The biggest goal is to reclaim yourself. The most important self-work you will ever do is to heal and feel worthwhile again. The world at large and everyone surrounding you will also benefit. You will be a blessing to your own life and to others for standing up to this loss and winning. Just wash that man right out of your hair and go on.
There are always red flags when a relationship is about to end. I could usually tell when my partner and I were drifting apart. I could also tell if it was a big thing or a little thing. I seemed to know if it was something that could be fixed or not. I was able to look at this knowledge and create plan B for myself. It is hard to say if that is because I am psychic or just willing to look the truth in the eye? I don't like those sort of surprises. I could see the writing on the wall and made some other plans. It wasn't easy but it was empowering. There might have been another way to deal with it. At the time, it did not appear that there was.
That brings me to the last generation. My mother was married four times. That was the multiple marriage and blended family generation. Now you see pre-nuptials and parenting partnerships. Just when gay marriage is being legalized you see many hetero couples not wanting it at all. The only problem is when children come on board. There will need to be what I call a parent partnership contract. That might need to be discussed ahead of time. Some of these troubled break ups are the same ones that seem to use children as tools of torture as well. It is always good to include family and extended family as a continued resource for your children. Allow for this discussion to happen any time there seems to be an eminent break up. What will this look like for our kids? For me and my ex it was very good for a while. He lived a few blocks away and my children did not seem too ravaged by our separation. We were able to even plan to spend part of holidays together for the sake of extended family. Then the unthinkable happened. My ex moved clear across the country following a marriage to someone from Connecticut. We are in Arizona. That is a lot of miles. My children then began to have some issues in school and at home. It was not the divorce itself but the absence of the other parent that was hard to bare. If possible put that in a contract, the other parent must be accessible for all the little things that happen. It should not look like just seeing the other parent three weeks out of the summer. It isn't the best for kids.
Anyway we are all reaching a new level of understanding about partnerships and what will end them. Not all involvements will last forever. The ones that do seem to have personal freedom and trust built in. Each person must be able to expand and grow.
Happiness cannot be the sole responsibility of the person you marry or partner with. It must be something each person finds for themselves.
These are my discoveries and there are many more things to look at but this is why I almost don't want to do a reading for someone when I know it is about a break up. It is a real downer.
my website is: angelbellsguidance.com