About Me

My photo

Able to tune in and help people. Speaking engagements, Published Author. Master's Degree in  Forensic Psychology. www.angelbellsguidance.com

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Having Fun! 101

Essay on Fun, the low down on kicking up some good times and frivolity 



What is fun?  Is there a recipe for it? If so it must be made of chocolate and giggles.  It must be able to be shared easily with others and ideally it should raise our brain chemistry to a happy temperature.  It is probably something new or maybe it has become a family tradition. It might have happened spontaneously.  I remember being at my great aunts modest home for her birthday.  She played the flute and her friend played the piano.  They had been in the Phoenix Symphony orchestra years ago.  We felt incredibly rich and it seemed the angels drew near to listen.  That was fun!  Every Easter, the two boys and I had a new tradition.  It was a treasure hunt with two treasures and two sets of clues carefully placed in plastic eggs.  I wanted something that was not such a celebration of sugar in the early morning and something way less competitive.  The fun of non competitive tennis: We would take one or two kids to the tennis court and the goal was to keep the ball in play as long as possible.  We would volley the ball to each other. This was followed by a trip to the ice cream parlor. 

Creating your own waterpark;with sprinklers is a great way to enjoy the afternoon in a hot day in Phoenix.  We had a basket ball court that was largely unused due to the extreme heat. We hooked up sprinklers and passed out water guns and just had the most fun for an hour.  Backyards sometimes get muddy.  These kids did not have a play-yard just the court.  Fun is using what you have access to in a new and creative way.  
I think one way to keep kids out of trouble and away from illegal drugs is to teach them how to have fun in a safe way.  Things that foster fun are numerous and infinite.  Music that can be participated in is fun sort of like Karaoke is fun. Any activity that ask for creativity is fun if it is shared. Jokes can be fun too if that fit the audience. Sports can be fun and silly too as long as everyone wins.  And a note for the guys.  I love watching the Superbowl each year and it can be a great party for everyone. Dads can go outside and kick the ball around with the younger sports fans.  Many wives might enjoy it more if everyone participates in creating the game snacks.  Cleaning and cooking can be fun, (just ask Rachel Ray) I can remember tamale making parties. We played music and musical chairs and told jokes while making dozens of tamales for Christmas.  In Phoenix, Arizona it would not be Christmas without two or three kinds of tamales to share at a party.  

Thanksgiving should never depend on one person doing all the cooking (unless they really love to do it) The funnest Thanksgivings were where everyone brought their favorite dishes to share.  Later we would play games or music. I think it is fun to make holidays less and less about food in general.  You can encourage the cherished others to bring plastic containers to take things home.  It seems fun to not have to cook for a day or two.  Make cleaning up fun and everyone has a part to play.    
Bullet Points for Fun. 

  • It makes you feel good
  • It makes you laugh out loud. 
  • It really doesn’t cost that much. (It won’t break you
  • You look forward to doing it again. 
  • It seems to be created from a very happy place
  • It stimulates creativity and oneness
  • It allows someone to connect with others in a really good way. 
  • Once you experience it, it gets easier to find it again. 
  • It often draws on our empathy and compassion for others. 
  • It seems to celebrate the good parts of being human. 
  • It seems to encourage good sportsmanship and fair play. 
  • It also seems to celebrate nature and beauty, like a picnic in spring.  
  • It is like a cork floating to the top, it just seems to want to surface.
  • Like attracts like.  If someone tells a joke and tosses a ball to the next joke teller, pretty soon it become infectious. Everyone is laughing. 
  • For sand tray therapy groups: Ask members to recall a fun moment and find something in the miniature to represent that. 
  • Fun does not require a victim.  It is not real fun if someone else is made to feel bad or less than in the process. So slap stick comedy might not qualify. Some comedians do it so well that we almost have to laugh. 
  • Fun is bubbly but it does not require any substances.  Not really. 
  • In fact fun seems to only require a permission slip and some space. It is like leaving the gate open and inviting fun to show up. 
  • What discourages fun?  Fun has contrast for sure and perhaps we need to experience that as well sometimes.
Things that are most likely to displace fun. 
  • Right off the bat, death of a loved one.  Huge loss is often hard to manage and have fun too.  Loss of job or relationship, anything in fact that counts as a loss.  Even when we try and celebrate someone’s life at a funeral and tell jokes, it often is punctuated by the pain of saying good bye. 
  • Family dysfunction can be a real deal breaker for fun.  If a family is arguing and not being kind to each other, fun is scarce.  
  • Lack of structure and education can be a barrier to fun. Friday night sparks off the week end with the promise of fun.  Ether school is over or a work week is over.  If someone is a couch potato without goals or structure, fun is less find-able. Ever been out of work for a while? Not fun. Which also leads to income.  I think having income from somewhere reliable is needed for a healthy heaping of fun.  
  • Education is also vital to having fun. It is hard to be creative and communicate without the shared media and basic knowledge of others. There are many kids of education. Some non formal kinds include sewing circles, nature walks that identify healing herbs, dance classes and learning to sing at church.  Not all learning is in a class room. Fun and education go hand and hand more often than we think. 
  • Absence of community and apathy can foster bad connection and lack of fun. I remember watching “Christmas with the Kranks” and it is obvious that the Kranks have walled themselves off from their neighborhood.  They manage to reconcile with neighbors, at the end.  Being part of a community is often necessary for real fun to happen. 



  • And avoid serious injury or being really sick. Those are definitely not fun. 

So in essence it is necessary to lay a background where fun can grow in order to really get your game on. 




Monday, September 5, 2016

Bipolar Bears Skating with Abraham Hicks


Often times people who are experiencing depression, mania, and a disconnection from reality are not fully enjoying the contrast.  Contrast as Esther Hicks explains, has everything to do with living life and deciding what feels right and what is enjoyable.  Often people must experience an uncomfortable or “bad” experience to be clear about what they do want. The contrast is experiencing a rainy day so you can experience a sunny day.  Some people clearly are not enjoying it if they are pressed into situations that do not allow them to express who they really are.  Abraham suggests that bipolar symptoms are created by not allowing a strong energy or path to unfold.  Sometimes there is such a strong personality parent or caretaker, that the child cannot express or be their authentic self.  Many Bipolar people experience mood episodes that include delusional happenings like people with Schizophrenia diagnosis often experience.  Many bipolar diagnosed people are very intuitive and psychic, however, they have not learned to balance their current life with the impressions they are receiving from others.  Since they are often told that it is wrong to be psychic and have those awesome intuitive visions, they feel even more devalued and broken.  They develop more stigma that says there is something wrong with me.

Abraham Hicks calls bipolar diagnosed people:  Those who have strong wanters disease.  They focus on what they want in a very intense way.  They are often very creative people with strong intentions.  When you really know what you don’t want then you really know what you do want.  She has said this: the person labeled bipolar was born into a challenge and thus hit the ground running.  They often experience a current of negative emotion due to the fact that they really know what they desire but cannot line up with it.  Abe says:  "once you have tasted the sweetness of who you really are, you can’t go back to being satisfied without that."  Becoming self-actualized is paramount to the person with this diagnosis.

As far as gaining some control over the see saw of moods, Abe suggests the following mantra or affirmation: 

I am a powerful wanter, I plummet when I am not in alignment.  Some people do not have the strong wanting or desiring as much as I (diagnosis of bipolar disorder).  Powerful Wanting Creates Powerful Joy.  I can focus myself into feeling better.

When you are feeling good then go with it.  Milk it.  Happiness is the goal. 
They experience moving energy. Bipolar people can jump from one extreme to another…joy to despair…due to the power of focus.  They have repeatedly practiced extreme focus.  When you are focusing in an uncomfortable way, remember how powerful of a focuser you are, you can stop it as well. When you feel negative emotion it is rarely what someone else is doing.  You have the ability to observe what you wish to observe or focus on things that are pleasing to you instead of things that drag you down.

From listening to hundreds of Abraham Hicks material, some purchased and some on You Tube, I have a basic theory for the causation of the uncomfortable symptoms that have been tagged mental illness.  Very little of it stems from genetics except that we are all capable of experiencing some of the symptoms that are more exaggerated for those suffering with “mental illness.”  Instead of just being down in the dumps, or dissatisfied some people become chronically depressed.  Instead of just being apprehensive, some people experience chronic anxiety and panic attacks.  Instead of just being cautious about others some mistrust is developed into huge fantasies that of paranoia. 

Abraham Hicks has an emotional scale that is so helpful.  It is helpful to realize that we are all on the emotional scale, somewhere.  I find it helps identify the uncomfortable to nightmarish range of the scale in order to understand it and turn things around.  

Since the logic for many of these not good feelings is faulty, going down the rabbit hole to discover where they stem from will take you on the limbic loop to nowhere.   Often there is no why except a faulty belief.  When I studied the Cognitive Restructuring of Beck I was a bit disappointed.  The reason it only works about half the time is the person must be ready to be restructured.  That is why I support person-centered or Carl Roger’s orientation.  The person must be calm and safe enough to peak through a new window. They can then re-direct their thinking and their life.  It is up to the person to decide on a better more reasonable path for themselves.   Many bipolar people have experienced trauma in early childhood as well as other injustices.  Some bipolar diagnosed people feel suicidal and helpless.  Split energy feels very terrible.  Split energy is wanting to die because life has become painful, but part of their being does not wish to die.  Abraham suggests making a decision to stay here and feel better knowing that tools exist that will help them climb out of depression (easily).

You can’t arm wrestle with bipolar bears.  They have to see the path open before them.  You can only love them unconditionally and support them in the way they wish to be supported.  You cannot consequence or punish someone into alignment. That will never work.  They do need to know that they are valued and celebrated.  For those who love someone who is experiencing symptoms, Abe suggests that this loved one should find all the reasons. strengths and qualities to illuminate why they like their loved one.  Point them forward by talking about the future and what they would like to have happen.  Sooth them when they try and catastrophize, saying, “it probably will all work out in the end.”  And sometimes, loved ones with problems don’t need caretakers to have all the answers to fix their problems.  We can just be good listeners.  In fact, that is often much better.

Try just doing things together if possible.   

Things to do together are things like go to a drummer circle, karaoke, hikes, bike, swim, go hear music together, do hot yoga together, get a guitar and take lessons, volley a tennis ball back and forth non competitively, do something crafty, make crafts together.  There are hundreds of things that allow togetherness without competition or judgement. 

We took a hula dance class once.  It was great fun!  It is hard to remain depressed when doing the hula.

Referenced from the following Abraham/ Esther Hicks You Tube Videos.








Sunday, September 4, 2016

Mountain Magic, Almost Heaven, Mt. Shasta



My adult son and I just returned from the Victory in the Light conference at the Methodist Family Camp on Castle Lake, near the famous Mt Shasta giant mountain.  It is snow crested year round.  The days were warm and bright with intense sun and the nights were heavenly and cool.  The stars were outstanding in their brilliance.  The photo above illustrates attendees gathered around a bon fire playing music, drums and dancing as thousands of light orbs gather and dance with them.  They are high energy beings and most likely forest sprites and nature divas (see post on Findhorn Fairy Magic) (later).  Keep smiling and reading for now.

Many people attending saw craft above the forest canopy in the evening sky.  I am not concerned whether those crafts are ours as in the “secret space program” that Corey Goode, David Wilcock and Mike Salla speak of or off world races here with an agenda.

So let me explain:  In 2010 I invited Charles Hall to speak in Payson, AZ, a small town off the bee line highway.  The night he spoke about the tall white alien race in Nevada, the sky over Payson lit up with craft.  My son was standing outside observing craft, stationary in the sky, (listening) witnessing our speaking event.  When it ended, they all winked out and were gone.  We had a chance to speak with Charles Hall in person before and after that event.  I wrote a check out of my own personal account.  I was a board member who was generous at that time and so, perhaps I am saying the personal time with Charles was justified.  I wrote a blog about him and a review of his Millennial Hospitality Book series.  I could speak volumes more but it would Segway this whole post.  

Bottom line, we (friends and family) have seen craft and I just except that they are in the sky like bumper cars.  Both of my boys have witness craft and have had abduction experiences.  I must admit I think me too.  I would much rather have one to one conferences with our alien friendlies than just experience the craft above me.  Indeed, that is beginning for me, and Charles said “in ten or fifteen years all will be disclosed.”  The government already plans for a slow trickle of information.  Charles’ guess is that by 2025 it is out there on the streets and on main stream TV.  That still seems a long way off and there is such revelation already happening.

The afterglow of Mt. Shasta still continues after I am home and adding up all the receipts from our road trip. Yes, it cost a bit to do this. We traveled from Phoenix to Mt. Shasta in a rental car and back.  There are many reasons we decided to travel this way.  Some are rather personal ones.  Both Zac, my son, and I are psychic empaths and have easy frustration and overload in the airports.  There was much deliberation in our travel plans.  Starting out was fun but we tired of the trip while going through the smoggy LA area.  We experienced some fatigue as well. I must acknowledge my son as the one who got us there.  A big shout out to Zac's use of Google navigator. 


left to right: Mike Salla, Laurie Eisenhower, Corey Goode, and Rob Potter
radio interviews back to camera.  

Zac making a short video walk at Mt. Shasta. 


 Once in Mt. Shasta we were elevated to a new energy and experience.  I kept stating that I felt like I had come home.  I never knew I missed it having never seen it.  Once there I felt that it was worth the journey.  Ideally we could have stayed a few more days.  I felt a playful energy and the smile of a mother beholding her beloved children.  Mt. Shasta is massive and lifts herself out of the earth's crust with such grace.  She is always crested with snow at the top and often wears a halo of puffy lenticular clouds that form above the peak. It is awe-inspiring to see this majesty and breath the lush pine scented breeze of the forest floor.  Mt. Shasta has always drawn mystics from around the world.  Zac and I had also purchased tickets to the conference at a church camp.  This was the 2016 "Secret Space Program" venue of topics and speakers.  


I really enjoyed the question and answer segment of the conference.  Corey Goode, Rob Potter, Laura Eisenhower and Mike Salla were all quest speakers.  They did an excellent job of presenting their material.  Much of this material I had heard before so it was interesting to get a bit more detail. In between engagement with speakers I met so many people.  There was a slogan floating “everyone has a story” and they all did.  It was very nice to share and hear the stories of others.  I took many photos and found everyone to be extraordinary that we spoke to.  It was not just the celebrities but all those gathered that made this an adventure and a gallery of sparkly people.

I have to jump to the following for a second...excuse me. 
I am an animal communicator.  I met Matisha (link below) at Mt. Shasta. 

Today I am also aware of dolphins crying.  Sadly, they are hunted in Japan this time of the year.  Please send prayers and donations to those trying to protect them.  If you remember the movie “the Cove” about the Japanese practice of killing dolphins who compete with certain fishing practices, sad movie for sure.  Dolphins are extremely intelligent in many ways that we cannot even evaluate. In my post regarding the future cites (beyond the Jetsons) I mention dolphins or beluga whales communicating with our human scientist about the oceans in an effort to correct and help that environment. Also see http://www.songofhome.com/Matisha-Tour-Schedule.htm for more on dolphin human interaction.  

And in my post on Future Cities: Beyond the Jetsons....(I have future dreams sometimes)

 I also mentioned the huge birds that were like Macaws.  They also communicated with us on various dimensions and helps with the stratosphere and correcting our sky or atmospheric conditions.  When acknowledging other species in a respectful way, I believe we are that much closer to interfacing with other highly advanced civilizations.

If it seemed like a departure from Mt. Shasta, no, it is all one big circle of connection.I am stopping this here.  I realize I will come back with more later.  There is much more to say regarding this trip of ours.  Taking a break. 

Barbara Eden now (I dream of Jeannie)
Stay tuned in.  

I return with some more memories.  Today is 9/20/16.  At one point Corey was standing behind me and he was connecting telepathically.  I heard and felt intense chatter in my mind, and I turned to look at him.  I wondered what he was saying.  I am sure I had a huge question mark eliminating from my forehead.   I am starting to see it as a tap on the shoulder and now I think I get it.  I look forward to Tuesdays and Gaia TV for another update with Corey.  Today I remarked the following in the chat box: 

 I always enjoy these Tuesday gatherings. I met Corey in person at Mt. Shasta. We had a short but nice conversation. Based on things he said, this is hard for his family and I hope there is a solution there that allows more quality family time for him. Corey does not know his role in things yet. It is a process but he is that guy that we love and trust and perhaps the spokes person for us humans (real humans). I also I saw or had a memory flash of being on "a bus" to the moon. When Corey spoke at Mt Shasta I also had a memory of sitting in an egg shaped seat with a safety belt or harness. There were perhaps 10 seats like mine in a circle. I was on an aircraft with two "stewardess people" and I was excited because we were going to "Hawaii". We made several stops along the way in the mainland. I don't remember having any luggage. ??? I hope I at least had a bathing suit some where. I believe I was given some screen memories. Some times Corey seems hazy or fuzzy on a memory and I totally get that. When a memory surfaces It seems a bit illogical and foggy. Anyway. I have recovered a great deal of stuff, but I don't know why I would be going through any of those experiences. - See more at: http://www.gaia.com/video/encounters-ancient-sentinels#comment-662546

I also had the same dream again.  I am standing in a private jet or plane.  I look like a cross between Barbara Eden and Hillary with platinum hair and I wear a blue dress-suit.  When I say standing it is exactly that I am looking out at a azure blue sky through an oval window.  I know I am on my way to receive some sort of award.  I guess the time line is growing closer to that personal event.  And it makes me wonder if I get some "work" done...I don't look like Barbara right now. I am still salt and pepper with curly hair and only 5 ft tall.  Things really change for me.  Amazing dream 

private plane with big oval windows in my frequent dream





Sunday, August 21, 2016

Saying Goodbye to Smoky

Saying Goodbye to Smoky



It has been a month now.  We have had many monsoon storms come and go without a sign of our beloved tom cat. 

Personally I was grieving two days into his absence.  Many people were saying “he will be back’’ and my heart was disagreeing.  I was wondering why they said this to me when I knew better.  Maybe it was to encourage hope?  I don’t know.  It did the opposite.  I was trying to process the heavy emotions of saying good bye to our friend and family member Smoky.  I am a psychic and an animal communicator so it was eerie to me that I could be so “gone” or unaware of this passage.  No matter the confusion of listening to the perceptions of others, my eyes would not stop watering.  Quite honestly it kept important others at bay as they were unable to offer condolences.

I had this happen when my maternal grandmother was in the hospital.  The prognosis was good. She had a minor heart attack.  We had visited her and she looked pretty healthy.  As I was leaving she said good bye to me.  She was as serious “as a heart attack”.  She said, you will be OK and remember the good things and not our arguments.  My grandmother was a very religious Baptist woman.  Our beliefs were very different.  We had lively debates about the Bible and her interpretation of it.  She said, “none of that stuff matters, it is the love we had for each other, that is the part worth keeping.”  As I walked down the hospital corridor, I saw my great Uncle Obe (short for Obadiah) sitting in the waiting room and he had been dead for 15 years.  I thought OMG, oh no, that is spooky.  My mother was rattled due to the fact that my grandmother had also said good bye to her.  Mom had totally ignored it all stating that my grandmother would be fine and home in no time.  That night she passed away.  I started crying two hours prior to hearing that news.  I just knew.  Like I said, I guess I am psychic. 

Zachary said that Smoky had been saying good bye for about two months.  We had him for 8 years and have no idea about his real age.  I would guess 12 years old.  He was in bad shape when he adopted us.  He was quite a scrapper in the neighborhood.  I had fed him once or twice and one night he jumped through a window when I was crying and cuddled with me.  At first I was scared because he was so big and muscular.  His eyes were intense and green as he communicated very clearly that he wanted to help me.  Smoky literally said words and understood words.  He always retained his autonomy after becoming our cat.  He would jump on me every night about 4 am and he would say “now” over and over again until I woke up and let him out. He would return several hours later at 6 am when it was breakfast time.  We had a routine. 

  The last night he did something different, he jumped on me but wanted me to pet him.  I was so sleepy, but I spent at least 20 minutes petting him.  He was sending me volumes of love.  I was seeing pictures and feelings and intense color around him.   He said in his own way, I love you, I know you will miss me, I am a keeper, I am your eternal friend, I will not be far way.  As I let him out he turned around and looked at me one last time.  I got a lump in my throat.  Something was not the usual with all this.  And two days later, I knew, for sure, he was gone.  I would whistle around the neighborhood and there was no response. 

When the last storm came up, and he was not at our door soaking wet, wanting me to get a big fluffy towel and dry him off, it was solid and sure.  Smoky did say good bye that last time.
We have heard him and felt him around us and our other cat is starting to see him too, she had been very depressed at first.  I think she was playing with Smoky last night, there was lots of commotion in the living room. 

Yeah, so I took it hard.  Don’t know when I have cried more and felt so blue.  We loved him.  He is a keeper.  And I can testify that cats do go off to die when they are ready.  I have heard a dozen stories now.  It is hard to tell if a cat is in pain, all I know is Smoky did have some health problems and he hung in there many years with them.  The thing that really gets me is how close he was to Source energy that night.  He was rather elated about going home or transitioning.  That is a big clue that he had not been feeling well for a couple of months prior to this.  He tried to be there for us but it was time. It was like a female in labor, something was happening for him, like a force of nature. 

Good byes are never easy.  See you on the flip side Smoky.



Saturday, August 20, 2016

I Slip into Something More Comfortable as I Lose Weight; A Lighter Body

Melissa McCarthy 


I am experimenting with several things right now to see what works regarding becoming lighter, and I am less desperate about that. 

As I go along in a transitioning state, I remember Abraham/Hicks saying, “Don’t pay attention to what others think.”  I think that is difficult for many of us since we have been trained to please other people. That not caring or giving a rip about what other’s might think of you, is a challenge due to the skinny ideal bodies on the media.  During an interview with Melissa McCarthy her response to her weight loss was, “I stopped trying so hard and just started to embrace my life.”  I could see Melissa dress better and she seemed to grow in confidence.  I think she started accepting and liking herself at a deeper level. 

My body is all about energy and how I feel: It really doesn’t include anyone else.  For me, what doesn’t work, is trying to lose weight for someone else.  What does work is asking myself questions and waiting for really good answers.   I will start with a few questions I have been using.  All these questions might turn into a work book in about a year.

Slipping into something more comfortable might mean side stepping resistance by saying “it would be nice to lose at least 3 pounds a month.”  Esther calls that the wouldn’t it be nice exercise.  I have some beliefs about weight loss, and one of those seems to be fear of weight loss.  Somewhere within me my weight serves a purpose, but I really need to know what that is so I can negotiate with that ego place.  So my first question is:  What does being heavier do for me?  What is it that I gain from this state of being?   I am working on those answers and getting somethings back.  I will share later. 

Recently, I asked myself what do I need to do today to lose 5 pounds this month?  That is straight forward.  I found a calorie counting book.  Calorie counting should work.  I have found it doesn’t work if I am eating for emotional reasons or having diabetic cravings.  So for me that looks like managing my diabetes, stabilizing my emotions and eating a high vibratory diet.  That all makes sense and when I eat out, I am choosing the least amount of calories but I make sure it is a “happy meal.”  I like eating it. 

Personally I have type 2 diabetes and some mood swings.  Those two create an amusement park ride for me. (I created it) Esther Hicks book, “Ask and it is Given”, says that when you ask for something, there is a virtual reality version of it that is created.  The question is this; when will you line up with that new reality and leave the past behind?  You might have a virtual million dollars in the bank but what side of you will allow that to happen and spend it?  It might be better for someone with lots of weight to lose to concentrate on other goals like bringing in a great deal of money.  That seems easier in many ways. 

In the mean time I am trying fun new things.  I am trying fresh new strategies with less urgency and less taking score of failed attempts.  I only track the successes right now.  That might be one pound less or just feeling lighter.   That leads to another question. I got on the scale and it was three pounds down from last time.  After doing a happy dance I had to ask, what did I do this week to manifest this?  What went right?  What worked here?  That is a great question to ask and answer. 

What causes diabetes anyway?  The medical people don’t know for sure.  I feel it has everything to do with the American diet but perhaps there is more.  I am reading a book that speaks of the assault on the whole endocrine system due to stress.  We live in a stressful world.  This can cause adrenal fatigue and eating lots of animal products is not helping. This in turn causes the enzymes not to work and the adrenal glands.  There is really a cluster of things that cause the pancreas to function poorly over time.  That is a lengthy discussion.   The question I ask myself is, how can I relax more and enjoy this day more?   I can almost imagine the little fat cells smiling and ridding themselves of excess.  It is that nice feeling of cleaning out a closet and taking the old stuff to a thrift store.  I don’t have to hang on to outworn things.

I am experimenting and asking questions.  I look at my thoughts and beliefs and try and reason with my inner self to let go of old and useless things.  I ask for fresh new energetic ideas to flow to me and inspire me.  I am also asking to slip into a lighter version of my body.  This one skips through the day and does not feel burdened down.  When someone is overweight it is hard on joints to carry that fat suit around all day.  So maybe my last question for this blog is, do I really need to do that?  I cannot lose 60 pounds overnight so I will have to be accepting that my body is doing its best to deal with extra weight.  I really want to dance more, float through my day more, have more energy throughout the day.  I do look in the mirror and appreciate that I have a body that functions well and is rather graceful in spite of all that it lives through.  I accept that little tiny changes are happening each day and I move into a lighter self in increments. 

There are so many more questions to ask.  I will have more to say in the near future.  So far this is helping me a great deal and I wanted to share it all. Slipping into a healthier size and way of being is easier than I ever imagined. 






Saturday, August 13, 2016

Riding the Wave of Bipolar Symptoms

Surfing with Bi-polar bears

Managing anything that has to do with the human spectrum of feelings and emotions is a tall order.  Managing is almost the same as controlling something. Kindness and integration work most effectively with this more gentle way of managing.  To me it might mean being person-centered with yourself and almost a quiet observer to most of those roller coaster moments.  Don't seek hospitalization unless you or a loved one become so out of control that it is dangerous. Rather, let the emotions take their ride and then process it later when all is well.

There are alternatives to medications.  As you may know there are many class action tort cases regarding the damaging effects of psycho-pharmaceutic drugs. Many of these drugs are toxic to the nervous system and cause permanent damage.

Two well know sources to look at would be psychiatrist Dr. Peter Breggin, who is a regular talk show host on Coast to Coast AM and has written some amazing books:  https://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&page=1&rh=n%3A283155%2Cp_27%3APeter%20Breggin

They (Robert and Peter) speak of eliminating the toxic drugs and using other therapies instead.  I call mental health in America maddening indeed from the mistreatment of the mentally ill to the three ring circus of providers and disability adjudication.  It is beyond stigmatizing to be escorted to a mental health facility where people are strapped down, drugged, barked orders to, and awaken to 5 AM blood draws after a sleepless night listening to others scream, talk to themselves, or just shuffle about. It is far from therapeutic for many.  There are times when loved ones have no choice it seems.  That is because the right choices were not considered long ago before all the monkeying around with drugs and brain chemistry.  Choices diminish greatly if someone is court ordered to take medication.  So should someone be forced to be on medication?  I don’t have that answer because I can think of times when it might be necessary but not the ideal.

When we think of invasive treatment, medication can be one of the most horrible ones.  People report many adverse side effects.  They can feel anxiety, burning brain, lethargy, fatigued, thirsty, headaches, insomnia, muscle spasms, diarrhea, weight gain, loss of sex drive or libido, men grow breast tissue, and involuntary tremors.  Dr. Breggin also mentions the chemical lobotomy that goes on for many making life a dreary thing and many people become reproductively sterile.  I wonder if that was intentional?

I have witness many nightmares with family members and I have gone through a few myself.  Some strategies have emerged.  When I say strategies I think of the Silver Lining Playbook movie.  That movie was ground breaking in that it brought robust discussion of mental health diagnoses to the forefront. It is easier to have a more robust, less shameful conversation about these types of problems. Sweeping mental health issues under the carpet has led to many social problems and myths.

Some alternatives to consider and to bring to the prescribing doctors are the following: 

First a disclaimer:  Never withdraw from medication on your own.  Dr. Breggin has a book that advises providers how to help others titrate off these very powerful medications.   The body has become accustomed to not producing serotonin or dopamine or both as the neuro receptors are blocked from absorbing these natural neuro chemicals.  You might have heard of serotonin re-uptake inhibitors.  It is quite dangerous to then stop and flood the brain with these naturally occurring chemicals after a period of not having them.  It can create psychosis. Also mood stabilizers were often developed from research for epilepsy and they might create a disturbance as well.  As I understand it, some chemicals and naturally occurring salts can cross the cerebrum's hemispheric division and some cannot. When one starts using layman’s terms it really demystifies what is being done to your brain chemistry via drugs.  Don’t DIY on any of this.  There are some strategies for lowering psycho-pharmaceuticals and safe ways to come off of these drugs.
Bi-Polar Bears on stage

OK and up to now…there are been few therapies offered except for medication and perhaps some (CBT)groups. Managed Health Care is really cutting back on individual therapy. It depends on the type of insurance one has. There is an odd partnership between the huge pharmaceutical companies and psychiatry.  Anything else seems to be dismissed.  Big Pharma and mental health providers have been in bed together for quite a while.  I wonder if there is any breaking up of that relationship? 

These are some things to research and I will have to speak about each one to some degree in future blog postings. 

Vitamins and nutrition: There is so much leading edge research saying that hospital stays where patients were receiving intravenous vitamins and minerals helped a great deal.  Exercise helps stimulate serotonin and dopamine and really those are your “calming and uplifting” friends.  So to combine these two is extremely effective.  Get the vitamins and minerals, eat well with the leafy greens, and rice and beans and raw fruits and vegetables, go for a walk or swim, and within a few days, these patients are not delusional, not depressed, and not anxious.  It is incredible that all this happens without sedating and strapping people down.

Full acceptance of the person having mental health issues.  I like to call it person centered therapy.  Having respect and unconditional positive regard (love) for patients is the basic idea of person centered treatment.  I worked with children in schools and we used child-centered play therapy.  The children were able to balance emotions, discover solutions, and re-direct themselves through play therapy.  There is adult play therapy as well.   Imagine combining, nutrition, exercise, and supplements with a playful environment.  Water volley ball, non-competitive soccer, bicycle polo, dancing, and hiking are all great ways to get a sunshine bath, socialize, and enjoy the day.  Sunshine encourages certain vitamins to work better.  And certain minerals encourage other minerals to be absorbed. 

When it comes to processing feelings I love art therapy and music therapy as well as narrative therapy.  Narrative therapy works beautifully with bipolar diagnosed individuals.  They are the creative people who love expressing themselves through various mediums.  I think of Jim Carey, Vincent Van Gogh, Isabella Duncan, Ernest Hemingway, Brian Wilson (Beach Boys) and thousands of others who have conveyed so much through their humor, dancing, writing, and art and admittedly they have had mental health issues.  Many of these artist have taken us to new levels of human expression.  Even some of the brilliant inventors like Steve Jobs and Nicola Tesla were in that eccentric genius rare zone of the bipolar person.  I was surprised to hear Joan Baez speak of her own mental health issues and that it was hard to go on stage at times due to the fear she had  She seemed so confident. Transitioning the topic to the absence of fear...
finding balance with all life

Mania might be the most dangerous phase for many.  My uncle loved to fly planes, but we think he might have been doing risky things like barn storming when he crashed.  There are many who will drive fast and take risks during mania. I will have to come back to that one because any sage advice eludes me.  I would recommend Yoga and meditation for relaxation during energy overloads. It would be good to up the exercise part too,  but there is probably a bit more that could help. 

Environment is very important in managing bipolar swings.   Having people who understand and accept you is so important.  Seek help in managing finances and paying bills if needed.  Bipolar diagnosed people can wind up homeless when they are unable to manage the rent payment and paying other bills.  Often time picking up someone when they get their food stamps and then going shopping with him is a great service. They can buy big quantities that will hopefully last a month or near that. There are some things like produce that will not.  However, getting some canned goods and other staples will be very important. 

Safety is also part of environment.  Bipolar mood episodes make some people very vulnerable.  They are easy prey at times.  Some are more likely to be robbed or molested.  They might not be able to tell what is reality and then they are susceptible to the trickery of others.  Creating a safe life style is so important.  As much as safety is a huge factor, some institutions are very prison like and do not even allow patients to go outside.  That is not the quality of life that works for this highly creative group.  I think there might be a bracelet that would track people who wonder away in a delusional state so that someone might check up on them.  Check up, not like a parent, but like a friend who wants to reach out.  


reaching out is magical


As far as tending to first person, second person and my voice, this writing is not stellar.  I felt the need to spill all my thoughts.  I hope it will spawn further exploration.  There are vast amounts of new therapies coming down the road.  Honestly, it cannot arrive soon enough.  Too many horror stories exist in this mental health field.

If you are dealing with thoughts of suicide, you can speak to someone immediately here or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, which you can reach at 1-800-273-8255.



Friday, July 8, 2016

Ten reasons I don’t want to be your friend Anymore



1.     You are always self-occupied.  Even when you do a favor for me I believe that you are keeping score.  I will owe you.  When I start telling you an anecdote you don’t let me finish because you are sharing one of yours.  I usually cannot get a word in edgewise.  Yes, I have overlooked it for years but eventually I am thinking, not a good fulfilling friendship.  This person is not really interested in me or anything I have to share.
2.     You never just listen to me; you jump in with advice way too soon.  Often I have already tried the things you suggest.  I have already thought of those things.  There might be more to the story, maybe there are pieces I just am not able to share.  Just listening with empathy might be all I am needing, unless I come out and ask, “what would you do”. 
3.     You are to ready to judge me.  If someone comes to you with gossip or something that is good and not in my best interest, you are willing to jump on board.  You participated in that gossip not knowing if it was true or not.  It got back to me and it made me quite sad because, often I have defended you for something very similar.  We are human and all of us make mistakes.  I might be in a bad mood sometimes but mostly I am caring and understanding. Allow people to have a “bad hair day” like when the Paparazzi catches a celebrity on their way to the drug store, feeling ill, and no make-up.  Yeah we all have those moments.  Right?
4.     When I have a small win or achievement you are discounting that or trying to outdo it with one of your personal achievements.  It is perfectly OK to celebrate achievements with your friends.  And if someone is unable to celebrate with you that is OK too. But is that friend consistently not available or not happy for you for some reason? OK not a healthy friendship.  I remember getting an A in biology and chemistry and my friend got C’s.  He was so jealous he said, “you had really easy teachers.”  No that was not the reason.  Real friends will be supportive of your success and not threatened by it.
5.     When you call it is always a great deal of drama.  I am just there to emotionally dump on.  Maybe I just took my cat to the vet, and cannot deal with drama and emotion at that moment.  Maybe it is the anniversary of a loved one’s death.  Maybe the last time I called with some tearful news, you were not able to talk.  Maybe I am not the one to always be “there” as a shoulder to cry on. 
6.     When I call you are always asking me questions I don’t want to answer. Questions like, have you lost weight or has your ex-boyfriend called lately.  Did you get that job you interviewed for?  Instead of just letting the conversation flow easily into areas of mutual interests, it seems like an interrogation.  If I change subjects, that is a clue that probably my boyfriend has not called, no I didn’t get that job, and no I am still fat. 
7.     Although I don’t keep score on doing favors, if the only time I see or hear from you is when you need me to spot you some money or do another favor for you,  it is not a healthy reciprocal relationship. If I stay in that sort of “friendship” I am not honoring myself.  In other words, I have poor boundaries.  Since I do psychic readings, often it is to someone advantage to “become a friend”.  They will do that by asking me personal questions.  Then they can give me some sage advice and then it becomes a quid pro quo session.  I have much better boundaries with that, I just don’t share personal info.   There are clients who have become friends along the way but it was for all the right reasons. 
8.     People sometimes get off on the wrong foot.  If I am having a bad day, and someone else is having an equal bad day, it is unfair to judge them one way or the other.  In the third grade, there was the new girl, and I did not like her.  I was quite catty to her.  Perhaps jealousy.  After a very emotional fight we became best friends.  That is a typical syndrome of alpha females.  Be careful of the ones who seem like friends but are really frenemies.  We all have come across people sweet as peach pie, but they don’t like you.  Once you discover who they are, they are not in your inner circle any more, well at least not mine.
9.     In spite of what I said about “not jumping in with advice”, there is an exception. There are advice-giver people who are more acquaintances, in my world; however, I can think of some moments when I had a big decision to make, and significant others let me make the wrong choice without a whisper of objection.  They are not my real friends.  There is, on the other hand, a friend I am thinking of that stopped me from making a horrible mistake.   I was about to move in with a roommate who had a bad alcohol problem.  It would have been hell.  My friend was very emotional about asking me to reconsider.  Intuitively, I probably knew better but was not listening to my inner guru or higher perspective.  Thank God for those people who occasionally stopped me from jumping out into traffic (metaphorically speaking).  Those are your real friends.  Keep them close.
10.The last is a Hodge podge of annoying things.  If anyone does not understand my right to self-actualize and the important person that I am (we are all important), they will put their own agendas above mine.  That does not make them a bad person, but, I am forewarned that they lean towards self-gratification.  They will offer help but not follow through.  The best protection is to not really count on them.  On the other hand, I need to be aware of people who do nice little things for me.  Sometimes, they are taken for granted and that is a shame.  When I am in the right place (zone) my heart will attract the right people into my life.  When I am  not in the right place,  I just put up some good boundaries, and ignore some people.