About Me

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I consider myself a special kind of helper. I am very intuitive or psychic and to obtain a consultation please visit: angelbellsguidance.com I would best describe me as a social worker and life coach. I love to write.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Making a Comfy Emotional Bed for Peace to Lie IN


Or Recipe for Peace


 

Have you wondered why we all wish for world peace and yet we have not manifested it yet?  I think the concept of peace is so very foreign to most people.  Imagine all the things that upset you?  Keep careful observation on all the things that rattle your cage.  Maybe you can identify the top offending five of them: People who cut you off in traffic, the neighbors dog who tears up your garden, scam artists that have borrowed money and then did not repay it, telemarketers who call during dinner,  and for me, people that constantly advise me on how to lose weight.  Those are more minor irritations.  Imagine a bomb going off.  Imagine a stray NATO bomb that hit a children’s play ground and killed your 5 year old daughter. That really happened in Serbia 1991.  All your thoughts of peace are now disbanned.   I am a parent who lost a child. Jason was 27 years old.  I wrote a book called “Sunflowers for Jason” about his life and overcoming grief. It is available on Amazon. There is no amount of money or consequence to another that would ever make up for the pain and loss a parent feels.  In the wake of the Sandy Hook murders, I think most people are sensitive to the price those families are paying, especially during the Holidays. Most sudden murder and the witnessing of the innocent blood of children is followed by shock more than anger.  In time loved ones will experience anger and very intensely so.  I was angry at everyone and God.  I was so short tempered that I was let go of my job.  That was the first time in my life that I was fired too.  I was a complete mess.  As much as I say I want world peace, I could have pushed that red button on some of those emotional days.  That is a scary thought.  Most of my friends and family did not understand why I was a mess a year later.  They did the right obligatory things such as bring flowers and food the week of the funeral, so what is left to do?  Most people will experience the most intense grief about 6 months to a year after the death.  The first six months are full of shock and denial.   This varies with each individual and grief is very individual.   I could talk at length about the stages of grief and then how that vector turns into a noodle of ups and downs and crisscrosses its path like a snake on speed.  I am a veteran at six years of grief over Jason, but, I am not out of the woods.  When his birthday or “angelversary” comes up,  it feels like I am standing by his coffin and looking down at his gorgeous face as though it was yesterday.  He was and is beautiful and he will remain so in my mind.  I could spend a day reflecting on the times I wanted to just join him on the other side.  God saved me and spared me that fate.  Now I try and work at healing others and creating peace.  I started to talk about peace and I will continue to look at why that is so not happening in our world. 

My ex husband just sent me the rent money.  I will pay him back in a few weeks.  I think that is the best example of peace I can think of.  We were at odds for many years.  I might have even wished that he catch a horrible disease on his honeymoon with his second marriage.   I shudder to think.  We have matured and progressed over the years.  I can see my errors in thinking and I do believe he realizes some of his mistakes as well.   We can communicate in a friendly and honest way.  If Jason had lived to see this I know he would like it.  In fact, he is here with me and he does like it.  (I am a medium) The more we can forgive ourselves and others the more possible peace becomes.  I really don’t think that war and economic sanctions ever create lasting peace.  In fact I will venture to say that poverty creates war more than any other device.  If we want world peace as we often say we do, make sure the other people in your life are doing OK financially.  Then take that wish and radiate it into your community and be sure that the community at large is sustaining itself in a healthy way.  After that we look at our neighbors abroad.  I think President Kennedy did that best thing ever with creating the Peace Corps.  How brilliant.  Now Kennedy also averted a war with Russia in the Bay of Pigs incident.  Each side of that skirmish left the table with their dignity intact.  Respecting another person culture and understanding their needs are imperative to peace.  Most people do not understand the perspective of others enough to truly negotiate peace. 

I think I will go back to the small pond I live in and hope that everyone I know and that I care about is doing well.  Next I want to create a ripple in my pond that moves gracefully accross the oceans and beyond.  Life will create some peace ripples and some disagreements.  My nuclear family is my son, Zac, and we have an understanding.  If I am upset then it is my responsibility to discover the root belief that is causing it.  People who have a hair trigger temper will have their work cut out for them.  Maybe an anger management class?  The first rule is; be able to state what is upsetting you and what you need.  State it quietly, honestly and respectfully.  If it is ignored then you move to stage two.  That is you sit down at the table with two cups of herbal tea and honey and wait for the other person to notice.  If they sit down also, then slowly bring up your need again and wait.  They will probably respond appropriately.  If they don’t then hopefully they offer a reason for not being able to help you and for not agreeing with your perspective.  There are further negotiations and the final one might be removing yourself from the situation for a while. 

Notice that none of these options suggest buying a machine gun?  They don’t even advocate yelling to get your point across or seeing a divorce lawyer, and they especially do not suggest throwing a dinner plate with food across the table at your husband.  My mother often did that during dinner and then none of us kids could eat.  I was a skinny kid who went to the hospital frequently, and still they did not get why that sort of behavior did not work well at creating a happy family life.   That happens in American families and with our foreign policies as well.  Dad died early and mom had horrible health issues later.  Putting those pieces together is important. The bomb you throw returns to poison your own world.  As Jesus said, if you live by the sword, you will die by the sword. 

The bed we need to feather is one of understanding. Understanding the needs of others and how to compromise and negotiate is key to peace.  That means visualizing a happy healthy world for others.  I am getting good at manifesting for other people.  I have become the reincarnated fairy God Mother to several people.  If they tell me what they are trying to accomplish and what they need to grow a business idea, Wham Bam Thank You Fairy God Mother…it is on their door step.  Giving to another and helping others with prosperity is easier to manifest than my own desires.  Why this is a rule is amazing.  I think the reason it works so well is this:  At some level all things are connected and one.  It is really the law of oneness that is believed and activated when you sincerely help another.  Along with this desire to help, I make it a secret.  Sometimes people ask openly for help and I am on it and acting on it right away.  There is no secret.  At other times, I am praying intently with love and tears, and the other one does exactly know, but it works just the same or maybe better.  This is love in action.  The action part of love is needed to create heaven on earth or peace.  This is really very simple and a nuts and bolts analysis of getting peace started for all of us. Some of you already know and you are ahead of me. Least any of us forget.  I speak to myself much more than any other on this subject.

The beliefs we hold close will create the comfy bed that peace will chose to lay in.

 

 

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

The Fun Way to Quit Smoking in Six Weeks


The Fun Way to Quit Smoking in 6 Weeks, by Nancy Lake

 

I have been cigarette free since July 2012. On New Year’s Eve 2012-13, last night, I tried to take a puff of a cigarette for some odd reason.  I gagged and my throat closed and I felt instantly sick.  So it is safe to say I don’t think I will ever go back to that nasty, expensive, and health zapping habit.

Now, dieting is a weak area where I don’t have bragging rights at all.  My chubby self is still here but in two months of Holidaying I did not gain.  I did enough to remain stable.  I will count that as a positive.

Back to how I quit smoking and made it fun.  Here is the breakdown and the break free of it all.

One:  You should create a plan that works for you. Tailored just for you! I did this and you might have to experiment with your own tolerance level and symptom reducers.  If you have tried to quit cold turkey before, great:  Look at every time and ask this question:  What happened?  For me it was stress and a feeling of deprivation.  Beyond the usual stomach cramps, headaches and lousy flu like complaints I experienced some emotional land mines.  All the emotional highs seemed to need a cigarette to balance them out.  If I was very excited and happy, I needed a cigarette, if I was bored, I needed a cigarette, if I was angry and irritable, I needed a cigarette, but stress trumped all those emotional moments for me.  Nicotine mixes with brain chemistry, and sets off a pleasure cascade of adrenaline and blood sugar and dopamine.  It creates an intense release that lasts for about 10 minutes and then starts to subside.  It takes you down. 

Two: Create a pre-Planned withdrawal day.  Pick a day or just a half day where you go without a cigarette.  I already know that I will become a bitch and people should not come anywhere near me.  That is a given.  I also already know that I will want to “snack”. Chocolate works pretty well for me. Salty foods seem to work too.  This is where you experiment.  Have a supportive friend buy you Nicotine patches and snacks at the store.  Then have them pick up a funny movie from a DVD rental place.  Tell them to not venture into the dragons lair.  They should simply leave all items on your door step and tip toe away.  They should not even stick their vulnerable head in the door and say good luck.  It is best to text message this if needed.  I would wear the patch for about 8 hours.  Then peel it off and have a pre planned cigarette.   That was the best cigarette ever and I would feel dizzy after smoking it.  Start picking more days like that.  Plan for a day of abstinence, and then reward it.  In psychology we call this creating self efficacy.  I knew that I could survive 8 hours without a cigarette.  I grew in confidence.

Three:  Around the second or third week of these planned periods of abstinence you will want to go a bit longer.  Perhaps a whole week end would be nice.  Some people venture into nature and hike and camp without a cigarette around for about two days.  Take patches and anything that might aid you in not losing your mind.  My friends would hide an “emergency cigarette” somewhere for me.   I was supposed to call and ask for it in an extreme emergency.  They would say OK wait one more hour and then I will tell you.  That worked the first time.  I am psychic and so the next time I received a visual message where the cigarette was hid.  That was not going to work anymore.  Sometimes just a little barrier will help people go a bit longer without a cigarette.

Four:  During the smoking days start limiting your daily intake of cigarettes.  Wrap a piece of note paper around the box of cigarettes and the place a rubber band around this.  Tally the cigarettes by placing a mark on the paper each time you remove the rubber band.  It helps to explore what you’re feeling as well, so instead of a mark, you can write a one word description, like “upset”, anxious, “on the phone” or whatever will help explain the need for that cigarette.  On the phone was a big one for me.  I wanted to light up when I talked to certain friends.  I started eating sun flower seeds instead.  Drop you cigarettes by two a day each week.  By week five I was using patches most of the day but smoking two in the morning and two at night.  This is when the health crisis starts.

Five:  Up to now, I am working with being gradual but now my lungs are starting to wake up and they wish to clean up.  I start having a productive cough and if I am not very careful it will become pneumonia or bronchitis.  I learned to stock up on Mucinex, or any Guaifenesin product.  Take more vitamins like B, C and D3 and rest all that you can.  Drink plenty of water.  Start treating yourself for the lung cleansing crisis that is sure to happen.  You are doing a great thing for your lungs, heart, cardiovascular system, liver and even bladder.  There is an odd connection between the bladder and cigarettes.  I would experience a weak bladder and some accidents too.  Be prepared for that as well.  It seems unfitting that nature would reward the withdrawal away from nicotine with that cold/flu sickness.  That is very common and it is the not a fun part of quitting.  It is a bridge to the other side.  Imagine having nice pink lungs.  I say wear pink all day every day and sing along with Cyndi Lauper, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” and they wanna have pink rosy lungs too.  And if you are a guy who is quitting…hey you can wear pink too.  It is your secret. 

Six:  Start replacing the cigarette with fun things that you can enjoy. This is an interesting task.  I often heard myself say, “This is my 5 minute vacation”.  This is my only vice and I would defend this terrible habit of mine.  It is necessary to do something else.  Go to You Tube and use the search bar to find and watch and ASMR videos.  I especially like Gentle Whispers and the Water Whispers.

Take up dancing or new hobbies and figure out some short activities that will replace a dependency that once gave you pleasure.  This part six still goes on for me.  I will probably be seeking short little vacation moments in my day for the next ten years.  I like blogging, bubble baths, talking to friends, taking walks and reading.  I got through the sixth and seventh week smoking one cigarette a day and finding some new pleasures.  Eventually, I was not buying cigarettes or patches.  One day in July, it hit me, I am free of this.  Praise God and Hallelujah!  I did not suffer with this all that much.  I found it to be an experiment and a slow transition.  If I did badly on one day, I would just get back on track the next day.  It actually was a fun and uplifting time for me. 

I love this sound:  Try this link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjwB1sSxREY