Tuesday, June 24, 2014
About Split energy?
Today I realize my split energy on several, maybe too many areas, and it is interesting.
I would call myself a strong want-er. Those are Abraham's words. I get ideas all the time. I feel passion about so many possibilities in my life.
I do desire and need more cash flow. Most of us have some split energy around that subject. The subject of money in general can often be loaded with mixed messages.
As an intuitive counselor I help people with clarity. That is the wonderful state of mind where it all comes together and confusion is not in the mix anymore. I help others sort out their split energy. So I am feeling a bit dismal that I have some of that. It feels like the saying: The shoe makers kids are shoeless, and, physician heal thyself. I am able to do this and so it stands to reason I should be able to clear up some things in my own world.
Split energy is inevitable. It does not mean that you are doing anything wrong...but it does indicate that you are sorting and shifting contrast and have some varied beliefs. It is uncomfortable and just like living causes a house to get messy, time must be taken to sort and reorganize. My physical space is messy and my body feels misaligned and I am really going through some manifestation.
Time to get it sorted through.
This all started with the hospitalization of my son and the time I spent at the hospital. I was not doing readings. I was not focused on my livelihood. People would call and I was too distracted to return phone calls and even get back to people. My mind was in a stressed place. My bank account went down and my chores remained undone. I walked into my home and said, it looks like I was on a 3 day drunk. For my personal standards it was really bad.
My brother said, why don't you try ad words by Google. It might send some new people your way. Well, it sounds good but I feel that split energy is the problem. The words for what I do seem fuzzy right now. There are so many things my guides bring through, in spite of my personal state of mind, that I find hard to clarify at this moment. We, my guides and I seem to zero in on what people have in the personal escrow. That is Abrahamster talk for what are they really wanting to manifest. That is located where in their highest joy zone. They have a dream for themselves. The emotional well being they feel is an indication of how close they are dovetailing with that dream. If we had no dreams brewing, we might have a sense of detachment from life. I think monks try and do that. Abe says we are here to live life and bang around in it. We are here to experience things and grow from that expansion. We not only are growing personally, we are on the leading edge of creation in general. The Universe benefits from us reaching for new awareness and new ways of being. Sitting in a cave all day and meditating is not usually indicated. In rare cases, a soul will do that. For most of us we desire the co creating that life can offer.
“When the eye beholds a singular vision the soul is full of joy”
I channel what is most needed. My guides seem to prioritize what is truly important and will give my client the most improved state of being. I am in an Ester Hicks like state of showing them who they are. My words are less important than what they feel and see for themselves during a session.
OK...back to defining what I do.
Allow people to realize their clarity and themselves. Improve their Source Connection. Help remove the amnesia of not remembering their true authentic self and demonstrate true connection with those in spirit by seeing post cards of that deceased loved ones life. Heal the gap between the seen and the unseen. Help ease the fear of death, because it is a transition. Help heal grief in showing people that love and relationships continue..albeit in a different way, after the shedding of the physical body.
OK and none of that says that I am a fortune teller...but I do see probable outcomes and probable future events.
My guides will help me. They are saying relax...do something you enjoy and we will bring it to clarity. I fully trust that they will. As far as money...it shows up. As far as clients...they just show up when I am ready. I have to be functioning well enough to receive them. I must clean up this space and my head.
That is something a Google ad cannot do. So for now, I might just do some Yoga and listen to music. For those who have a “real” job...sorry to say it. I have to maintain my vibrational integrity. That is my job. It might clear my wobble to have another job too If I can manage it. I trust that will be revealed.
This work is harder than it sounds. I am not on my feet all day like the nurses at the hospital. I admire them. I am not doing case management like I used to...but there is an odd parallel. Some readings are a type of social work, counseling, life coaching and motivational speaking rolled into one. It depends on what is needed.
No good hash tags yet, but I have faith, and they will come.
If wanted things don't manifest. You, like me, and like all of us, have split energy on a particular desire. Abe says back out of this and go general. That means you are trying to hard and being too specific. Just trust the Universe to show you and be your compass.
Hash tag: I allow harmonized energy around wanted desires and this allows the Universe to bring it into being.
Wishing clarity for all of us today. May it slip in through the crack of least resistance.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
June 11, 2014
Dear Janice Brewer,
Regarding the Management of Mental Health in Arizona
Let me introduce myself. I am a counselor in training. I have a year to go prior to taking my test for license and completing the internship requirement. My name is (Angelbell) and I also have had several family members in the mental health system. I face this issue with compassion as well as seeing a need for a sustainable system that really works. I am a fiscal conservative with a heart. I am a professional in the field. Most of all I am a mother with a young adult son hooked up to life support at the hospital after a recent suicide attempt. If there was ever motivation for reaching out and hoping for systemic change... it is now! I will add that against all odds, It looks hopeful that my son is going to recover. We are taking it one day at a time. His father and I are seeking an attorney to possibly help us look into what went terribly wrong.
That is who I am and I am the author of this letter.
I have had a long talk with Izra and Ray Thomas. Ray and I talked months ago as the new RHBA was taking place. The unfortunate thing for us; is that each new RHBA seems to erase the paperwork of the last RHBA. Since our son has been in the system since age 17 there should be reports going back 20 years. Even if those reports were an overview, hitting the highlights, it would be helpful.
This would be helpful in illuminating the life time prevalence of his diagnosis. Recently, my son went before an administrative law judge concerning his social security benefits. Although there are many hospitalizations. It seems that the file was devoid of any significant assessment. During a recent psychotic episode and a subsequent hospitalization, he was court ordered by one judge into treatment and simultaneously another judge decided that he was able to work and mentally stable. That was in April 2014. We have two opposing decisions from Judges who are not mental health professionals but, serve the agenda of different bureaucracies. We are speaking with John McCain's office in an appeal attempt to restore benefits at a time when Z's treatment and ability to continue demands this.
That seems ludicrous to anyone who hears it. It feels like the system has become dichotomous and bi-polar too. The who mental health system seems to be uncoordinated. It seems to be running with many players who are paid well, get good salaries, but it also feels like the families of the patients are doing all the care. I mean all the case management, coordination of services, and just day to day care taking. Unfortunately we don't get a pay check. Others who are detached, are paid. When I say I am a fiscal conservative, I mean we have got a big budget bureaucracy that is not even remotely serving its population or the natural support system of this population, such as family and friends of the seriously mentally ill.
As I have spent 20 years doing my own research beyond my Master's Degree requirements, I look deeply into effective treatment and what works. I was told I might have to pay big money to acquire guardianship for my son. I say why don't we leave out the judges and lawyers and have a team decision. Like the CFT's (Child Family Teams) I used to facilitate, The judge who spends a few moments reading reports and then votes yea or nae, does not know the family or situation as fully as other members of the team. Why are they even necessary? I think the present system is keeping judges and lawyers off the street and gainfully employed, but again, it is not the most compassionate and effective approach. It is not effective as far as best treatment and practice and it is not saving our tax payer dollars very well. We are really spinning our wheels, our time and our dime. And sadly our discarded mental health patients sleep on the streets.
Does not seem to be working well. The prison system, really benefits. I think members of our present legislation have bought stock in that? Rumor has it. Our jails are treating a greater number of the mentally ill. If only that were truly effective. It is certainly not. It is unconscionable.
Most of my frustration is with the crisis treatment centers and the hospitalizations. I was telling Izra Loring one of my stories and he was amazed. He thought it worked much differently. But before I tell that story. The trillion dollar pharmaceutical industry is on the fast tract to getting most of the allocated funding for the mentally ill.
I hate to say it... but those disenfranchised mental health patients are supporting so many well meaning agencies and industries. But...they suffer greatly when there are actually better alternatives than medication many times. Our RHBA's might not be fully exploring those options. I have found much researched evidence that nutrition and vitamin/mineral therapies are out performing medications. Many of the psych medications sedate or try to manage the symptoms. Some are helpful short term. The long term effects are very damaging to the brain and nervous system. And those medications are so expensive. Z's new non title 19 AHCCCS will not even cover the ones that cost several hundreds of dollars a month.
Well no wonder we have such a problem...a large part of the money is serving the psychiatrist or nurse practitioners and the toxic medications that don't cure but might help to some extent. Z's needs them right now due to the worsening of his condition. Alternatives don't seem to be reachable now. I am hopeful that in the future our system will look at more gentle yet powerful and effective alternatives. And the best part is...they are much less expensive.
Again the mental health budget is serving some people, unfortunately not those suffering with mental illness.
My son's case manager, sat with me for hours waiting for Z's turn in the court room. She said sometimes it takes all day...and this is required for court ordered treatment. He felt his medication was not working for him very well and he stopped them suddenly. That is not the way to come off medication. A slow titration is needed. I suppose that forcing him to take medication is important right now as long as we have the right ones. And they are helping him. The case manager could not bring her lap top or cell phone into the court room waiting area. I watched as a bus pulled up transporting my son in restraints into the waiting room for patients. This court room necessity is costing a bundle of money and works well for the judges. It is enormously inconvenient for all others in the picture. The case manger sometimes spends all day there several times a week as she works with 40 cases. I asked about a teleprompter, type of court system set up in the out patient clinics and in patient hospitals? That might shave off thousands of dollars and free up the case mangers to really work with the needs of clients.
My son complains that hospital stays are like prison. Very boring and non therapeutic. They were not able to even go outside to hear the birds chirp and sing, or see trees and blue sky. That would make me more depressed than ever and if someone is already depressed it is not healthy. It is very confining for patients. They are not always treated very well by staff. It is very de-humanizing. And yet, my son needed to be there. My son and I have talked about what a safe environment, that is kinder, would look like and how that could be achieved. If a poll were taken during the discharge...or afterword's I wonder if more opinions could be gathered.
I wont even start talking about the UPC as I could write a book. There are no beds at UPC and people sit in chairs for days waiting for placement.
If there is a steering committee regarding how to help the mental health system work in a better coordinated ...that time is now.
And I would love to be there in any capacity to weigh in on needed change.
A concerned mom.
PS some personal info redacted for this post