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I consider myself a special kind of helper. I am very intuitive or psychic and to obtain a consultation please visit: angelbellsguidance.com I would best describe me as a social worker and life coach. I love to write.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Saying Goodbye to Smoky

Saying Goodbye to Smoky



It has been a month now.  We have had many monsoon storms come and go without a sign of our beloved tom cat. 

Personally I was grieving two days into his absence.  Many people were saying “he will be back’’ and my heart was disagreeing.  I was wondering why they said this to me when I knew better.  Maybe it was to encourage hope?  I don’t know.  It did the opposite.  I was trying to process the heavy emotions of saying good bye to our friend and family member Smoky.  I am a psychic and an animal communicator so it was eerie to me that I could be so “gone” or unaware of this passage.  No matter the confusion of listening to the perceptions of others, my eyes would not stop watering.  Quite honestly it kept important others at bay as they were unable to offer condolences.

I had this happen when my maternal grandmother was in the hospital.  The prognosis was good. She had a minor heart attack.  We had visited her and she looked pretty healthy.  As I was leaving she said good bye to me.  She was as serious “as a heart attack”.  She said, you will be OK and remember the good things and not our arguments.  My grandmother was a very religious Baptist woman.  Our beliefs were very different.  We had lively debates about the Bible and her interpretation of it.  She said, “none of that stuff matters, it is the love we had for each other, that is the part worth keeping.”  As I walked down the hospital corridor, I saw my great Uncle Obe (short for Obadiah) sitting in the waiting room and he had been dead for 15 years.  I thought OMG, oh no, that is spooky.  My mother was rattled due to the fact that my grandmother had also said good bye to her.  Mom had totally ignored it all stating that my grandmother would be fine and home in no time.  That night she passed away.  I started crying two hours prior to hearing that news.  I just knew.  Like I said, I guess I am psychic. 

Zachary said that Smoky had been saying good bye for about two months.  We had him for 8 years and have no idea about his real age.  I would guess 12 years old.  He was in bad shape when he adopted us.  He was quite a scrapper in the neighborhood.  I had fed him once or twice and one night he jumped through a window when I was crying and cuddled with me.  At first I was scared because he was so big and muscular.  His eyes were intense and green as he communicated very clearly that he wanted to help me.  Smoky literally said words and understood words.  He always retained his autonomy after becoming our cat.  He would jump on me every night about 4 am and he would say “now” over and over again until I woke up and let him out. He would return several hours later at 6 am when it was breakfast time.  We had a routine. 

  The last night he did something different, he jumped on me but wanted me to pet him.  I was so sleepy, but I spent at least 20 minutes petting him.  He was sending me volumes of love.  I was seeing pictures and feelings and intense color around him.   He said in his own way, I love you, I know you will miss me, I am a keeper, I am your eternal friend, I will not be far way.  As I let him out he turned around and looked at me one last time.  I got a lump in my throat.  Something was not the usual with all this.  And two days later, I knew, for sure, he was gone.  I would whistle around the neighborhood and there was no response. 

When the last storm came up, and he was not at our door soaking wet, wanting me to get a big fluffy towel and dry him off, it was solid and sure.  Smoky did say good bye that last time.
We have heard him and felt him around us and our other cat is starting to see him too, she had been very depressed at first.  I think she was playing with Smoky last night, there was lots of commotion in the living room. 

Yeah, so I took it hard.  Don’t know when I have cried more and felt so blue.  We loved him.  He is a keeper.  And I can testify that cats do go off to die when they are ready.  I have heard a dozen stories now.  It is hard to tell if a cat is in pain, all I know is Smoky did have some health problems and he hung in there many years with them.  The thing that really gets me is how close he was to Source energy that night.  He was rather elated about going home or transitioning.  That is a big clue that he had not been feeling well for a couple of months prior to this.  He tried to be there for us but it was time. It was like a female in labor, something was happening for him, like a force of nature. 

Good byes are never easy.  See you on the flip side Smoky.



Saturday, August 20, 2016

I Slip into Something More Comfortable as I Lose Weight; A Lighter Body

Melissa McCarthy 


I am experimenting with several things right now to see what works regarding becoming lighter, and I am less desperate about that. 

As I go along in a transitioning state, I remember Abraham/Hicks saying, “Don’t pay attention to what others think.”  I think that is difficult for many of us since we have been trained to please other people. That not caring or giving a rip about what other’s might think of you, is a challenge due to the skinny ideal bodies on the media.  During an interview with Melissa McCarthy her response to her weight loss was, “I stopped trying so hard and just started to embrace my life.”  I could see Melissa dress better and she seemed to grow in confidence.  I think she started accepting and liking herself at a deeper level. 

My body is all about energy and how I feel: It really doesn’t include anyone else.  For me, what doesn’t work, is trying to lose weight for someone else.  What does work is asking myself questions and waiting for really good answers.   I will start with a few questions I have been using.  All these questions might turn into a work book in about a year.

Slipping into something more comfortable might mean side stepping resistance by saying “it would be nice to lose at least 3 pounds a month.”  Esther calls that the wouldn’t it be nice exercise.  I have some beliefs about weight loss, and one of those seems to be fear of weight loss.  Somewhere within me my weight serves a purpose, but I really need to know what that is so I can negotiate with that ego place.  So my first question is:  What does being heavier do for me?  What is it that I gain from this state of being?   I am working on those answers and getting somethings back.  I will share later. 

Recently, I asked myself what do I need to do today to lose 5 pounds this month?  That is straight forward.  I found a calorie counting book.  Calorie counting should work.  I have found it doesn’t work if I am eating for emotional reasons or having diabetic cravings.  So for me that looks like managing my diabetes, stabilizing my emotions and eating a high vibratory diet.  That all makes sense and when I eat out, I am choosing the least amount of calories but I make sure it is a “happy meal.”  I like eating it. 

Personally I have type 2 diabetes and some mood swings.  Those two create an amusement park ride for me. (I created it) Esther Hicks book, “Ask and it is Given”, says that when you ask for something, there is a virtual reality version of it that is created.  The question is this; when will you line up with that new reality and leave the past behind?  You might have a virtual million dollars in the bank but what side of you will allow that to happen and spend it?  It might be better for someone with lots of weight to lose to concentrate on other goals like bringing in a great deal of money.  That seems easier in many ways. 

In the mean time I am trying fun new things.  I am trying fresh new strategies with less urgency and less taking score of failed attempts.  I only track the successes right now.  That might be one pound less or just feeling lighter.   That leads to another question. I got on the scale and it was three pounds down from last time.  After doing a happy dance I had to ask, what did I do this week to manifest this?  What went right?  What worked here?  That is a great question to ask and answer. 

What causes diabetes anyway?  The medical people don’t know for sure.  I feel it has everything to do with the American diet but perhaps there is more.  I am reading a book that speaks of the assault on the whole endocrine system due to stress.  We live in a stressful world.  This can cause adrenal fatigue and eating lots of animal products is not helping. This in turn causes the enzymes not to work and the adrenal glands.  There is really a cluster of things that cause the pancreas to function poorly over time.  That is a lengthy discussion.   The question I ask myself is, how can I relax more and enjoy this day more?   I can almost imagine the little fat cells smiling and ridding themselves of excess.  It is that nice feeling of cleaning out a closet and taking the old stuff to a thrift store.  I don’t have to hang on to outworn things.

I am experimenting and asking questions.  I look at my thoughts and beliefs and try and reason with my inner self to let go of old and useless things.  I ask for fresh new energetic ideas to flow to me and inspire me.  I am also asking to slip into a lighter version of my body.  This one skips through the day and does not feel burdened down.  When someone is overweight it is hard on joints to carry that fat suit around all day.  So maybe my last question for this blog is, do I really need to do that?  I cannot lose 60 pounds overnight so I will have to be accepting that my body is doing its best to deal with extra weight.  I really want to dance more, float through my day more, have more energy throughout the day.  I do look in the mirror and appreciate that I have a body that functions well and is rather graceful in spite of all that it lives through.  I accept that little tiny changes are happening each day and I move into a lighter self in increments. 

There are so many more questions to ask.  I will have more to say in the near future.  So far this is helping me a great deal and I wanted to share it all. Slipping into a healthier size and way of being is easier than I ever imagined. 






Saturday, August 13, 2016

Riding the Wave of Bipolar Symptoms

Surfing with Bi-polar bears

Managing anything that has to do with the human spectrum of feelings and emotions is a tall order.  Managing is almost the same as controlling something. Kindness and integration work most effectively with this more gentle way of managing.  To me it might mean being person-centered with yourself and almost a quiet observer to most of those roller coaster moments.  Don't seek hospitalization unless you or a loved one become so out of control that it is dangerous. Rather, let the emotions take their ride and then process it later when all is well.

There are alternatives to medications.  As you may know there are many class action tort cases regarding the damaging effects of psycho-pharmaceutic drugs. Many of these drugs are toxic to the nervous system and cause permanent damage.

Two well know sources to look at would be psychiatrist Dr. Peter Breggin, who is a regular talk show host on Coast to Coast AM and has written some amazing books:  https://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&page=1&rh=n%3A283155%2Cp_27%3APeter%20Breggin

They (Robert and Peter) speak of eliminating the toxic drugs and using other therapies instead.  I call mental health in America maddening indeed from the mistreatment of the mentally ill to the three ring circus of providers and disability adjudication.  It is beyond stigmatizing to be escorted to a mental health facility where people are strapped down, drugged, barked orders to, and awaken to 5 AM blood draws after a sleepless night listening to others scream, talk to themselves, or just shuffle about. It is far from therapeutic for many.  There are times when loved ones have no choice it seems.  That is because the right choices were not considered long ago before all the monkeying around with drugs and brain chemistry.  Choices diminish greatly if someone is court ordered to take medication.  So should someone be forced to be on medication?  I don’t have that answer because I can think of times when it might be necessary but not the ideal.

When we think of invasive treatment, medication can be one of the most horrible ones.  People report many adverse side effects.  They can feel anxiety, burning brain, lethargy, fatigued, thirsty, headaches, insomnia, muscle spasms, diarrhea, weight gain, loss of sex drive or libido, men grow breast tissue, and involuntary tremors.  Dr. Breggin also mentions the chemical lobotomy that goes on for many making life a dreary thing and many people become reproductively sterile.  I wonder if that was intentional?

I have witness many nightmares with family members and I have gone through a few myself.  Some strategies have emerged.  When I say strategies I think of the Silver Lining Playbook movie.  That movie was ground breaking in that it brought robust discussion of mental health diagnoses to the forefront. It is easier to have a more robust, less shameful conversation about these types of problems. Sweeping mental health issues under the carpet has led to many social problems and myths.

Some alternatives to consider and to bring to the prescribing doctors are the following: 

First a disclaimer:  Never withdraw from medication on your own.  Dr. Breggin has a book that advises providers how to help others titrate off these very powerful medications.   The body has become accustomed to not producing serotonin or dopamine or both as the neuro receptors are blocked from absorbing these natural neuro chemicals.  You might have heard of serotonin re-uptake inhibitors.  It is quite dangerous to then stop and flood the brain with these naturally occurring chemicals after a period of not having them.  It can create psychosis. Also mood stabilizers were often developed from research for epilepsy and they might create a disturbance as well.  As I understand it, some chemicals and naturally occurring salts can cross the cerebrum's hemispheric division and some cannot. When one starts using layman’s terms it really demystifies what is being done to your brain chemistry via drugs.  Don’t DIY on any of this.  There are some strategies for lowering psycho-pharmaceuticals and safe ways to come off of these drugs.
Bi-Polar Bears on stage

OK and up to now…there are been few therapies offered except for medication and perhaps some (CBT)groups. Managed Health Care is really cutting back on individual therapy. It depends on the type of insurance one has. There is an odd partnership between the huge pharmaceutical companies and psychiatry.  Anything else seems to be dismissed.  Big Pharma and mental health providers have been in bed together for quite a while.  I wonder if there is any breaking up of that relationship? 

These are some things to research and I will have to speak about each one to some degree in future blog postings. 

Vitamins and nutrition: There is so much leading edge research saying that hospital stays where patients were receiving intravenous vitamins and minerals helped a great deal.  Exercise helps stimulate serotonin and dopamine and really those are your “calming and uplifting” friends.  So to combine these two is extremely effective.  Get the vitamins and minerals, eat well with the leafy greens, and rice and beans and raw fruits and vegetables, go for a walk or swim, and within a few days, these patients are not delusional, not depressed, and not anxious.  It is incredible that all this happens without sedating and strapping people down.

Full acceptance of the person having mental health issues.  I like to call it person centered therapy.  Having respect and unconditional positive regard (love) for patients is the basic idea of person centered treatment.  I worked with children in schools and we used child-centered play therapy.  The children were able to balance emotions, discover solutions, and re-direct themselves through play therapy.  There is adult play therapy as well.   Imagine combining, nutrition, exercise, and supplements with a playful environment.  Water volley ball, non-competitive soccer, bicycle polo, dancing, and hiking are all great ways to get a sunshine bath, socialize, and enjoy the day.  Sunshine encourages certain vitamins to work better.  And certain minerals encourage other minerals to be absorbed. 

When it comes to processing feelings I love art therapy and music therapy as well as narrative therapy.  Narrative therapy works beautifully with bipolar diagnosed individuals.  They are the creative people who love expressing themselves through various mediums.  I think of Jim Carey, Vincent Van Gogh, Isabella Duncan, Ernest Hemingway, Brian Wilson (Beach Boys) and thousands of others who have conveyed so much through their humor, dancing, writing, and art and admittedly they have had mental health issues.  Many of these artist have taken us to new levels of human expression.  Even some of the brilliant inventors like Steve Jobs and Nicola Tesla were in that eccentric genius rare zone of the bipolar person.  I was surprised to hear Joan Baez speak of her own mental health issues and that it was hard to go on stage at times due to the fear she had  She seemed so confident. Transitioning the topic to the absence of fear...
finding balance with all life

Mania might be the most dangerous phase for many.  My uncle loved to fly planes, but we think he might have been doing risky things like barn storming when he crashed.  There are many who will drive fast and take risks during mania. I will have to come back to that one because any sage advice eludes me.  I would recommend Yoga and meditation for relaxation during energy overloads. It would be good to up the exercise part too,  but there is probably a bit more that could help. 

Environment is very important in managing bipolar swings.   Having people who understand and accept you is so important.  Seek help in managing finances and paying bills if needed.  Bipolar diagnosed people can wind up homeless when they are unable to manage the rent payment and paying other bills.  Often time picking up someone when they get their food stamps and then going shopping with him is a great service. They can buy big quantities that will hopefully last a month or near that. There are some things like produce that will not.  However, getting some canned goods and other staples will be very important. 

Safety is also part of environment.  Bipolar mood episodes make some people very vulnerable.  They are easy prey at times.  Some are more likely to be robbed or molested.  They might not be able to tell what is reality and then they are susceptible to the trickery of others.  Creating a safe life style is so important.  As much as safety is a huge factor, some institutions are very prison like and do not even allow patients to go outside.  That is not the quality of life that works for this highly creative group.  I think there might be a bracelet that would track people who wonder away in a delusional state so that someone might check up on them.  Check up, not like a parent, but like a friend who wants to reach out.  


reaching out is magical


As far as tending to first person, second person and my voice, this writing is not stellar.  I felt the need to spill all my thoughts.  I hope it will spawn further exploration.  There are vast amounts of new therapies coming down the road.  Honestly, it cannot arrive soon enough.  Too many horror stories exist in this mental health field.

If you are dealing with thoughts of suicide, you can speak to someone immediately here or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, which you can reach at 1-800-273-8255.