About Me

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I consider myself a special kind of helper. I am very intuitive or psychic and to obtain a consultation please visit: angelbellsguidance.com I would best describe me as a social worker and life coach. I love to write.

Sunday, July 28, 2019

SPS Chapter 8: Healing a Broken Heart in Half the Time

Sedona’s Psychic Sisterhood with sage advice from Sara Dewdrop

The best answers ever about healing a broken heart. 

 When it comes to love, I have been that gullible creature.  On several occasions I :played the fool” and cried while singing a country western song. Often, we are too eager to give our hearts away to a fantasy creature.  When we then slough the spell, we see the “ass” we have been devoted to.  Just like “A Midsummer's Night’s Dream” Titania is tricked into loving an ass who is really a human actor named “Bottom”.  For all those who fall prey to love’s myths and illusions, watching Shakespeare’s play might be eye opening.  It is an essay on jealousy, competition, misunderstandings, and the whole emotional drama of romance.  All of Shakespeare’s plays explore human relationships and the human condition in the most colorful language of all time.  I found Shakespeare to be a life saver on those lonely nights when human companionship eluded me.  Healing starts with knowledge and forgiveness. This is my discovery say I Sara. 

Most of my readings are about relationships.  When they are not about relationships in the romantic context, then they are about career and personal goals. When speaking of career, there is often a bit of advice on co-worker relationships.  There are some readings about purpose and spirituality.  Some readings are about children or pets.  And my all-time unique reading was about 4 “dead” cats. 

This couple was so devoted to all their cats and they were grieving some of them.  They requested medium contact with those departed cats, and they wanted to know their special cats were enjoying their afterlife experience. That was a stretch for me, but it went very well.  I was talking to each cat and each one had a different personality.  They had characteristics and mannerisms that helped this couple identify which cat was communicating with me.  Most pet readings are about that human/animal relationship.  I would like to address that subject in a chapter just about animal communication.  There is quite a bit of material to cover about relationships that are not human, and it might  be a bit humbling.  While waiting to see a doctor, I was leafing through a magazine. There was a photo of two fisherman holding up a huge fish. I was ready to turn the page when I noticed the expression or grimace on the fish’s face.  It was a look of extreme anxiety and reminded me of a child who could not scream.  Humans have tortured and exploited animals in many ways. Imagine having to live outside chained to a tree when it is freezing?  Animals can and do exceed humans in certain areas as you might have noticed.  Think of their devotion and heroism in saving lives.  Think of their purity of thought and feeling.  They are not capable of deceiving.  Think of their love and compassion that is so genuine and unconditional.  Humans can fall short of these unparalleled qualities. I watched a lady beat up her dog in a grocery store for not walking “right”.  All my bells and whistles went off,  I have been a social worker and I can’t un-see or un-learn what I know.  A Dad beat his two-year-old daughter to death for not being fully potty trained. I hope we grow and expand as humans.  If you have some time, read “Soul Dog” by Elena Mannes.  Her dog became her spiritual guru.  It is a delightful read.

Stuck in a Love Rut
There are some people who seem to be stuck in a love rut.  They are looking for love in all the wrong places.  Since 2011, I have had yearly or bi-yearly calls from the same people regarding dissatisfaction with their partners or lack of partner.  To me it seems they are looking for the perfect person, but is anyone perfect?  There needs to be a foundation of stability for each of us. There is an expression: Each tub sits on its own bottom. Another human cannot replace the being that is your inner soul. They say in psychology that the primary relationship is your mother.  Truly, the primary relationship is you and you.   If the morning starts without plugging into your inner being then your morning is empty like a sky without a rainbow, without the fresh dewy air, and without the song of birds.   Is it possible for two people who are empty and unhappy to come together and “complete” each other?  I don’t think so.  They might enjoy each other for a while, until some of the life stressors happen.  Life stressors include having a newborn baby.   Babies are so delightful and such a blessing.  My babies helped me become a more vital human being and I discovered a layer of love I might not have known otherwise.  The other shoe drops for young couples.  There are sleepless nights and little time to enjoy each other.  Having a baby does not always bring a couple together if they are not already solidly in friendship and in love.
When Food is Love
I read a book with that title by Genene Roth.  When family and significant others have not been able to fill a certain kind of void, some people turn to food or substances.  Food can comfort us however there is a problem with that.  I have been to a nutritionist for years and I know how to eat.  That does not explain some binges I have been on.  I observed myself eating bread, one piece after the other, and I could not stop.  At that moment I was very frustrated.  Things were not going my way.  There are certain emotional zones that seem to trigger a binge and the top three are; boredom, frustration, and depression.  If I am too depressed and darn near suicidal, I don’t eat. When I am in slight depression or dysthymia it feels awful and I want to binge.  It is not a good spot to be stuck in.  Personally, I learned it from my Dad.  He was a workaholic and I am pretty sure staying ultra-busy was his coping skill.  Now that I have identified that certain emotional patterns or zones lead to weight gain and overeating, I am vigilant doing something else to break out of it.  I would like to explore the relationship that some of us chubby people have with food.  That would be another chapter. It will be delicious to write it out.

Yeah, so Do Something Else! 

After a breakup, it is time to be kind to yourself.  Some people will eat ice cream and cry on a good friend’s shoulder.  This weird horrible feeling really should not last more than a week or two, because if it does, there really is a deeper issue.  I know that all the words and advice in the world are not heard by those heartbroken and betrayed.  If you have trouble letting go there are some things that might hasten your recovery. One of my best friends said to me, “he is either there with you or he is not”. I was eating ice cream and asking if a fella was coming back around.  As a psychic I get that question all the darn time.  Will he or she come back around?  When I have really looked seriously into the future of that person’s life.  It always looks like they are very happy with someone else down the road.  It appears that even if that person did do a U turn and stopped by to say hi on New Year’s Eve, the person I am reading for would be out celebrating with someone significant to them.  Will he or she come back is often a non-question.  I am not sure why it is asked so much? But me too, I have asked the same. 

 So. when I say get busy living life do anything that will lift you up and add purpose, don’t wait, just do it. Rather than focus on meeting someone that will probably just be a rebound, do something else. Examples: Take up a water color class, get in a hiking club, take a dance class, join a poetry reading club, go swimming, walking, biking, join a book club, join a church singles club just to meet others and go to movies together, volunteer, volunteer especially with children because they are delightfully happy.  There are so many things to do and be interested in.  Remember Jim Carrey in a movie called Yes Man?  Say Yes to those things that you normally don’t do. Somehow the Universe is conspiring to bring a wonderful person into your world.  Don’t try looking, the harder you try, the worse the match usually is. Just be receptive when it does happen, when things line up and you feel that sparkle and you giggle the next day for no good reason; Life is happening just go with the flow.  

Why does it take so long?  The time between relationships can be very short.  It just depends on how fast you heal.  When you know what you don’t want (in a relationship partner), then that contrast allows you to focus on what you do want.  It is like writing a letter to Santa Clause, you have a list of characteristics that you like. It seems like the Universe is listening, and it will happen in perfect time.

  I hear people say:
 I just don’t want someone who plays games, or my boyfriend just wont commit.  My girlfriend is an alcoholic, I just want her to get sober and be the sort of person I want her to be. I’m an alcoholic, but I think my boyfriend should just deal with it and accept me this way. My husband served me divorce papers and left, and I did not see that coming.  

 There is a wee bit of game playing in the beginning of every relationship but usually by the third or fourth date all the cards should be on the table.  Does this person want to have children?  Is this person just wanting to casually date? Does this person just want recreational sex?  If it seems that animals are vicious and treacherous, just observe how hearts are carved up and lives destroyed by not being honest with another person over agendas and plans.  They say you can spot a narcissist by the trail of destruction they leave behind.  Odd fact is narcissist do not really like themselves, but they could never face that truth either, so they don’t know.  They will find their own faults in others and instead judge and blame them.  Who is in worse shape the narcissist or the person who attracts them?  When I worked at a domestic violence shelter, I could not get used to women going back to the guys that beat them up, but then, the shelter life is not heaven either.  Again, there is a whole subject in how to strengthen women enough to become independent.  That might be another whole chapter or two.  Those we chose often will show us who we are and where more development is necessary.  That is true of all of us, all God’s children and relationships will ask us to grow and evolve on our path.  The hermit in a cave might not be as holy as a father with six kids trying to make his family happy.  Just maybe there are holy paths that ask a great deal of us, but that might be just the ticket. That is what we wanted this time around.

My job as a psychic is not always to “just tell the truth”.  Oh my, if it was that easy. I have a really nasty Yelp review from a lady who did not want to hear the truth at all. I offered to return her money, but that was not satisfactory.  She could not unhear what I said.  There was a pretty Yugoslavian blond lady who came to my home for a reading.  I do realize that Yugoslavia has broken apart into several different countries, and she was from one of those newly formed countries, but I can’t remember.  She was served divorce papers and then her husband left.  They owned and home and had a child together.  She asked me if her husband would return to their home.  I said, yes, but it will only be to pick up his belongings and then return to a dark-haired woman.  I suggested she gather his things and take them to a storage facility so all she need do is hand him the key.  At that suggestion she burst into tears and left.  She did not offer any money or gratuity for my honesty and accuracy.  About six months later she returned to tell me that I was totally right.  She wanted another reading and I did ask for payment in advance.  Once bitten twice shy is the saying I would use.  Again, she left in a very emotional way.  This time it was over custody of their child, and she was not thrilled with my answer.  I believe she did overcome all this and did find a nice guy to settle down with.  I must wonder if honesty is the best policy, when clearly, it might not be.  Sometimes I think it would be better to just not read for people who are not ready for the truth.  That way I am not side stepping break up issues and no lies are being offered.   Many of these people do come back to say, “I went to a dozen other psychics and you were the only one to tell me the truth”.  Clearly, this is not the way to become rich and famous.  I should have gone into computer science. 

Again, my best advice is Get busy doing something else and create some joy in friends and the things that matter to you.  I have been single for 25 years and I love it.  But I still wonder if there might be a certain someone out there.  Maybe.  Until then I am at play in the fields of the Lord.